Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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(805): View more from California

Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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(404): View more from Georgia

NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR

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(971): View more from Oregon

Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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(703): View more from Virginia

I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.

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