Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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