Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
