So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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