Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
