Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
