need another drink. this is the easiest way
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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