just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think my fart just growled at me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
