we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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