Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dick very happy bro
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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