Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
