Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
