I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
