i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
