Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
