it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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