North Korea, Best Korea!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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