plz talk dirty to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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