hotel room ftw
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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