If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
