I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
