i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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