pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
