I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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