Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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