2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
