My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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