I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
