Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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