it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
