did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
