do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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