She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
