I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You smell like stripper and shame
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
