i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't think brook has ever known best
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
