Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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