never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
