Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
