we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
