thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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