I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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