Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
