i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
