i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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