I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am available for nakedness
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
