so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
