like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
