I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
