Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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