Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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