idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
