the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
