i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
