ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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